Saturday, December 29, 2012

Daycember 28 - what to do?


Random thoughts of the 2 week wait...

We are finally home after a week of fun and relaxation on Drew's side of the state.  It was great to get away and I have to admit I was spoiled to the max. I was blessed not only with gifts but Drew's mom was so sweet to me. She wouldn't let me lift a finger and I'm so thankful.  It gave me plenty of time to just rest, pray and enjoy our time. It was great to see family that we don't get to see very often. All the kids grow up way to fast.

We got home today and Drew unloaded the entire car. Then he helped put everything away and cleaned up the living room.  I could get used to this type of behavior! He's usually helpful, but I can tell he's trying to let me rest. I would be lying if I didn't say we were still a little scared. But this is the longest I've ever gone without starting. It's a good sign!


Tonight I'm hanging with this guy as Drew is out with a friend. Ajax has been very attentive. He follows me around the house buzzing around me. Yes, rabbits buzz. It's their love language. In this picture he is loving me because I'm feeding him Jelly Belly's.  Yes, he loves jellybeans. He's pretty cute! (I hate that our lights turn everything yellow=LAME)

These are the random thoughts of the 2 week wait.

I keep thinking tomorrow is Sunday, but it's not. Tomorrow I have to go to the dr. office to get a few more vitamins then I have to run a few errands and we will end the day with dinner at P&J's. No, we are not eating PBJ's, but just eating at their house. It's Drew's cousins, should be fun! Tomorrow is day 29.

Day 29.

Most girls who go through this would've taken a pregnancy test by now. But I just figure I'm either pregnant or I'm not pregnant. I've been warned that we could get a false positive too and I'm a little fearful of that. So it's best I just leave it. What would you do? Chance a false positive and take a test? Or even chance a false negative.... The real question is how many mind games do you want to play? I don't envy anyone who has to go through this wait.

 I've only taken one pregnancy test in my 12 years of praying. That was the  first time I thought I was pregnant because I was late. It was in March 2003.  I wasn't pregnant. I don't really like pregnancy tests. They always say no. At least to me they do.  Ovulation tests are worse. An ovulation test typically works like a pregnancy test. You pee on a stick and if you see 2 lines then you're ovulating. I think that's a dumb thing. The million dollar industry of fertility should come up with a new way to detect ovulation instead of making women who can't get to the pregnancy 2 line positive result part pee on a stick as if they were at the pregnancy part. Another reason why infertility is awful.

The books tell me I have enough HCG in my system now to detect pregnancy. The meds I'm taking are still giving me twinges on my ovaries that feel like little cramps and the other meds make it even harder to stay calm.  But I feel calm.  I feel God's Peace again, and that's all that matters to me.

2 comments:

Knithead said...

I have been thinking about you and praying for you so much over the last couple of weeks. I know the wait is hard, but you are way stronger than you even realize. Love you, Alice

SouleSista said...

I love that you had to take a nap today ;) I see that as a good sign. Before I knew I was pregnant I did a 5K with Anna and Mom. The next day I slept ALL DAY which I never do. Also, before I knew I was pregnant the kitties started acting different around me. The boys who weren't usually cuddley were all of a sudden sleeping with me at night and the girls who usually loved snuggling were stand-offish. Just wondered if maybe Ajax senses something different ;)
Ugh, this is driving me nuts so I can't imagine what you must be going through!!
You know, most people would stress out having a baby early but I was relieved, I knew he was fine and it was nice to be able to see him and hold him early -got a jump start on the bonding. Really helped me not stress the small stuff

I hear you on the preg. tests too- I stopped taking them and when I got the positive with Ben I took another one the next morning and the next night, and was still scared when they did one at the WIC office!