What's another 2 weeks?

It's Sunday, already almost one week down.  Drew's parents are here this weekend to celebrate Aunt Dorothy's birthday.  Even though the most exciting thing that happened was getting the car washed (besides the party), I'm so thankful they are here.  Having things to do is a good distraction for me.  And Aunt Dorothy's party last night was super fun.

I wanted to catch everyone up on what happened last week.  It's so cool how God shows up.

I went in on Monday for an ultrasound.  I had 2 good sized follicles and a couple of smaller ones, meaning I should have at least 2 good eggs to release.  So they told me to go home and take the HCG trigger shot.  Drew came home early to give it to me and that began our crazy work week.  We went in the next morning for our first IUI.  For whatever reason the wait was long that morning.  Drew finally was able to have his appointment and then we waited again.  During that time, they take the sperm sample and "washing" it.  They do a clean wash on them meaning they spin the specimen and get out all the extra fluids so what's left are the very best sperm.  They usually then take a sample of that and look at it under a microscope.  This is how they determine how many sperm are in the count, the mobility etc.  So at this dr. office they allow us to go back in the lab and look at that sample.  So on Tuesday they came out to get us when it was ready.  The technician said, "I'm excited to show you this.  Most couples wouldn't understand this, but I think you guys will think it's cool".   So she let us look at the sample, (which is always AMAZING) but this time when she created the sample, an air bubble got caught in it.  When I looked in the microscope I saw very excited sperm trying to get into the air bubble!  This is super cool because it means they thought that bubble was an egg and they were really to try to get into it!  I can't express what it did for my soul to see that.  One of my biggest fears is that the sperm don't know what to do when they get to the egg.  But God showed me DIRECTLY that they know exactly what they are doing.  They are doing what God created them to do! It was a huge blessing.  So we did the IUI and then I went home to rest and do a little work.

We decided to do 2 IUI's so we went in Wednesday morning for our second one.  I wasn't feeling too confident that it would actually happen because our numbers were a bit low on Tuesday and the second sample is always much lower than the first.  So Drew's appointment arrived and then we waited for the wash to finish.  The technician wasn't there that day, so the head nurse did the wash instead.  She came to get us and said, "I want to show you something.  As I was washing your sperm I was praying, 'Please God, let this be a good sample, please God let it be good for them', then I put the sample under the microscope and look what I saw! I think it's a better sample then yesterday!" WHAT?!?!?  When we looked we saw several sperm swimming like crazy! They were full of energy and ready to go! Ok - lets talk medical personnel these days. ... seriously though, when have I EVER known a doctor or a nurse to tell me they were PRAYING over us???  And not only that, but praying over the very sperm that will be used by God to create! I was totally humbled and in awe of what God was doing.  We did the second IUI full of hope and expectation.  God is so good!

So again, we are now in our waiting field.  But, most of what we do is wait.  It has for sure been a theme in my life.  Waiting, pursuing, achieving, waiting, more waiting...But that's ok.  Cuz I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

This week Drew goes to California for his last residential.  He has to defend his concept paper for his dissertation.  Please keep him in your prayers as he's pretty nervous! I know he will do great.  God made him for this moment.  I'm so proud of him! Asher and I will be going to Grand Rapids to spend time with Papa and Lala.  I love going over there as it feels like vacation to me. :)  I only wish Drew would be with us as we will be ending the 2 week wait and I'm sure that's about the time I will be nervous.  One of the things that my nurse changed this time around is she's having me take progesterone during the 2 week wait.  She wanted to make sure my levels were good etc. but the only negative aspect of that is if we were to test for pregnancy we could get a false positive.  So now I will for certain not be able to take a home test.  We will have to wait to see what the blood test shows.  I'm not sure when I will be making that appointment.  For now, I"m just taking it one day at a time.  Either way, I know God is good and He has our best interest in mind.  He knows what He's doing.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our journey to family!  We are a bit weary, but also excited to see what God has in store for us.  9 days to go!

3 days...

It's strange to write a blog post about the same thing over and over again, but I guess that's what the persistent widow felt like.  Constantly petitioning God for her hearts desire.  Hoping in expectation that He would not only hear her, but agree that the time has come.  I want His time.  His Kingdom.  I want to be on His path. Have His heart.  This month has been a hard one. 

2 weeks ago we discovered that a friend of mine is missing.  Like, she was there, and then she wasn't.  Sierra Shields lived underneath us when we first moved into our apartment.  She's really a friend of a lot of my friends, but the thing about her is, if you meet her, you're her friend.  She's kind and loving and wonderfully full of God's grace.  She has a heart for the lost and hungry and lonely and afraid.  Which is why this "case" is so challenging.  She seemed off one morning and she went to work, quit her job as a flight attendant and then walked out of the airport never to be seen again.  I don't understand how that is possible these days.  In a world of camera's everywhere SOMEONE must have seen her.  They must have taken a selfie with her in the background and they just don't see it yet.  Someone must know where she is.  Even though I was never close to her, it hit me really hard that she's missing.  I can't imagine (nor do I ever want to - family and friends be listening) going through something like that.  And the worst part is we can't do anything about it.  We just keep praying and sharing her info with people in hopes that someone will come forward with information.  God bless her wherever she may be.  And let her come back quickly. 

This week our beloved bunny Ajax passed away.  Ajax and I have had a love/hate relationship.  He was super cute and I loved him, yet taking care of him was always difficult for us since we traveled so much.  And, honestly, he needed a lot of attention that many times we couldn't give him.  So then I felt guilty for not playing with him as much as we should etc.  We tried finding a better home for him several times, but I guess he was meant to stay with us.  I woke up  2 nights ago to a loud noise which was Ajax thumping out of his cage after going to the bathroom.  I literally gasped as I sat up in bed.  Drew woke as well and told me it was just Ajax and to go back to sleep.  But then Drew got out of bed.  We hear that thumping noise all the time, so I'm not sure why Drew thought to check on Ajax that night, but I'm glad he did.  Ajax's breathing was shallow and I asked Drew what was going on and he said, "I think he's dying".  Drew held him while he took his last breaths.  Then I cried.  And cried.  And cried. So hard.  Like the ugly face cry.  I couldn't stop and even after it was all over I couldn't fall asleep.  It was so sad.  Granted, I don't deal well with change and I certainly hate when a living thing dies.  Especially when he was a part of the family.  So this week we lay him to rest in our gracious families back yard.  So much sickness and struggle and death this month.  Those are just a few things, there are many, many more. 

A glimmer of hope. 

In the midst of darkness...but God.  

We were not supposed to do a fertility cycle this month, but the opportunity came and we decided to jump in.  We started our meds last week and shots this week and are thinking the IUI will be either Monday or Tuesday.  My appointment this morning showed I'm not yet ovulating, but they aren't sure when I'm going to.  So I'm praying I don't ovulate over the weekend so we don't miss our window.  It's kind of an expensive window. And our last expensive window. So please join us in prayer that God's timing is perfect.  I'm really praying that God moves.  That He brings a baby in the midst of a storm.  That redemption can be just around the corner.  In Asher's bible that we read together the last story says this: 

When Jesus died, his followers felt sad and all alone.
They placed his body in a tomb and closed it with a stone.
On Sunday several women came; The stone was rolled away!
"He is risen," the angel said, On that very first Easter Day!

And after reading it I sing to him: 

On Friday night they crucified the Lord at Calvary
But He said don't fret because in three days I'm gonna live again, you're gonna see
So when problems try to bury you (6 feet deep) and make it hard for you to pray
May seem like that Friday night, but Sunday's on the way  - Take 6

Asher really, really, really, likes it when I sing that.  He won't even read any other story now, he wants to hear the song.  To be honestly, I want to hear the song too.  I want to know that when problems start to bury us, and they make it so hard to know what or how to pray, I have to remember that it may seem like that Friday night or in my daily life, or every hour....but Sunday, the day of REDEMPTION, the day full of LIFE, the day of HOPE FULFILLED, the day of LAUGHTER, the day of RIGHTEOUSNESS, the day where it all makes sense and HIS presence is DEEPLY known and felt...THAT Sunday is on the way.....