Friday, January 29, 2016

3 days...

It's strange to write a blog post about the same thing over and over again, but I guess that's what the persistent widow felt like.  Constantly petitioning God for her hearts desire.  Hoping in expectation that He would not only hear her, but agree that the time has come.  I want His time.  His Kingdom.  I want to be on His path. Have His heart.  This month has been a hard one. 

2 weeks ago we discovered that a friend of mine is missing.  Like, she was there, and then she wasn't.  Sierra Shields lived underneath us when we first moved into our apartment.  She's really a friend of a lot of my friends, but the thing about her is, if you meet her, you're her friend.  She's kind and loving and wonderfully full of God's grace.  She has a heart for the lost and hungry and lonely and afraid.  Which is why this "case" is so challenging.  She seemed off one morning and she went to work, quit her job as a flight attendant and then walked out of the airport never to be seen again.  I don't understand how that is possible these days.  In a world of camera's everywhere SOMEONE must have seen her.  They must have taken a selfie with her in the background and they just don't see it yet.  Someone must know where she is.  Even though I was never close to her, it hit me really hard that she's missing.  I can't imagine (nor do I ever want to - family and friends be listening) going through something like that.  And the worst part is we can't do anything about it.  We just keep praying and sharing her info with people in hopes that someone will come forward with information.  God bless her wherever she may be.  And let her come back quickly. 

This week our beloved bunny Ajax passed away.  Ajax and I have had a love/hate relationship.  He was super cute and I loved him, yet taking care of him was always difficult for us since we traveled so much.  And, honestly, he needed a lot of attention that many times we couldn't give him.  So then I felt guilty for not playing with him as much as we should etc.  We tried finding a better home for him several times, but I guess he was meant to stay with us.  I woke up  2 nights ago to a loud noise which was Ajax thumping out of his cage after going to the bathroom.  I literally gasped as I sat up in bed.  Drew woke as well and told me it was just Ajax and to go back to sleep.  But then Drew got out of bed.  We hear that thumping noise all the time, so I'm not sure why Drew thought to check on Ajax that night, but I'm glad he did.  Ajax's breathing was shallow and I asked Drew what was going on and he said, "I think he's dying".  Drew held him while he took his last breaths.  Then I cried.  And cried.  And cried. So hard.  Like the ugly face cry.  I couldn't stop and even after it was all over I couldn't fall asleep.  It was so sad.  Granted, I don't deal well with change and I certainly hate when a living thing dies.  Especially when he was a part of the family.  So this week we lay him to rest in our gracious families back yard.  So much sickness and struggle and death this month.  Those are just a few things, there are many, many more. 

A glimmer of hope. 

In the midst of darkness...but God.  

We were not supposed to do a fertility cycle this month, but the opportunity came and we decided to jump in.  We started our meds last week and shots this week and are thinking the IUI will be either Monday or Tuesday.  My appointment this morning showed I'm not yet ovulating, but they aren't sure when I'm going to.  So I'm praying I don't ovulate over the weekend so we don't miss our window.  It's kind of an expensive window. And our last expensive window. So please join us in prayer that God's timing is perfect.  I'm really praying that God moves.  That He brings a baby in the midst of a storm.  That redemption can be just around the corner.  In Asher's bible that we read together the last story says this: 

When Jesus died, his followers felt sad and all alone.
They placed his body in a tomb and closed it with a stone.
On Sunday several women came; The stone was rolled away!
"He is risen," the angel said, On that very first Easter Day!

And after reading it I sing to him: 

On Friday night they crucified the Lord at Calvary
But He said don't fret because in three days I'm gonna live again, you're gonna see
So when problems try to bury you (6 feet deep) and make it hard for you to pray
May seem like that Friday night, but Sunday's on the way  - Take 6

Asher really, really, really, likes it when I sing that.  He won't even read any other story now, he wants to hear the song.  To be honestly, I want to hear the song too.  I want to know that when problems start to bury us, and they make it so hard to know what or how to pray, I have to remember that it may seem like that Friday night or in my daily life, or every hour....but Sunday, the day of REDEMPTION, the day full of LIFE, the day of HOPE FULFILLED, the day of LAUGHTER, the day of RIGHTEOUSNESS, the day where it all makes sense and HIS presence is DEEPLY known and felt...THAT Sunday is on the way.....



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