That's how I feel today. I don't feel inspired about anything, and I feel I am losing myself in this house. Most days I see and know being here is a blessing, but today, I feel it is a prison. I haven't seen my family or friends in awhile and I honestly don't feel like seeing them. I am broke, and in debt. I have no way of working out so I feel over weight. In a lot of ways I just feel stuck.
however...
The snow is falling as I write this and it is so beautiful. The fireplace is on and the furnace is fixed and working. There is java in my cup, not just java but starbucks from my awesome brother at christmas. I will eat salmon tonight and although I am out of diet coke and have been for some time, there is still vita-water to drink. I went to the library yesterday and it took me a bit because I went to the wrong library to get my card. At least I know where they both are now, but even the two library's in town put together didn't make a library as good as Canton's. sigh...I miss my home.
I guess doing my books today has made me feel hopeless. God promises to take care of those He loves, and he is doing just that. I just wish I was smarter and wiser and didn't make decisions based on making other people feel good. I am learning so much. At least I hope I am. I would hate to think that all this time has been wasted.
Peeling away piece by piece to get to the raw goodness of it all.
14 comments:
Hello Kathlene,
Just read your post and feel like i am sailing in the same boat......but there is a way out of it.
All you need first is financial freedom and most of all support from family and friends in some shape or form. You might not be a materialistic person but everybody needs money to survive in todays world... so my suggestion to you is please take care of the debt first and get two jobs if you have to. People seldom come out of depression without being proactive....am assuming you feel depressed everyday.. if not then you are fine.
Would like to chat with you if you feel like talking to someone when you are in one of your depressed moods....maybe we can help each other jobseeker78@gmail.com
Dear Kathlene,
I stumbled upon your blog when searching "Depressed and unmotivated" - Although I am still only 25; I am feeling very much as you are-it seems. Although I don't know your circumstances completely; it's really tough being an artist; living at home and not being able to find work that is suitable or meaningful to pay the bills. I checked out your ministry website; and would like more information on it. I want to live my life for the Lord too(& use my talents for his good) Thanks for posting how you feel; so others can find solace in knowing they are not alone in similar struggles/circumstances. It would be neat to talk with you online sometime too if you're open to it. I can be reached csiravo (at sign) gmail dot com
warm regards,
Christina
I hope the winter melted into a fine summer and that this one doesn't seem so long. Debt is a condition of life these days. Remember, it is only money--your health is most important. If you find yourself as isolated this winter as last, seek out those you love to help you through the rough times. Love and laughter is worth more than gold.
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amazing. so many people a searching for "unmotivated and depressed" trying to find consolation in solidarity with others. the same happened to me. im music composer and it seems like i landed in the place where no one really want music anymore. i feel no urge to write and compose. after four albums released i feel i lost my steam and motivation. i dont want to write mediocrity so id rather wont attempt to create at all. australia is very depressing place. at least in large cities. or maybe it is the desert onside me.
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