There was only ONE Jesus, just sayin

Ok, so we along with most of you thought for SURE there would be at least twins.  I was extremely nervous as you all know.  But I was nervous for many reasons.  I was nervous because I wasn't sure anything was going on down there.  And then we saw something moving.  It was the heart. A strong heart. A heart that I've been waiting my whole life to see.  A heart that God has allowed to be released from Heaven to come and join us for as long has He wills.  A heart that looks like God, beats like God and is strong like God.  I never, ever, ever thought I would see that heart.  But today, I did.  I just can't believe it.  No denying now (Anna, I'm at 100% belief now!), we are having a baby.  It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  God is so good to us! I'm so glad Drew video taped it, or I might feel like it never happened.  I might feel like it was a dream.  Well, it is a dream, one that I've been waiting to be a part of for a long, long time.

Now I know you were all guessing high numbers.  I was too.  And I am disappointed, shocked and sad to only see ONE beautiful heartbeat today.  The dr. saw some fluid next to the other sac and he thought that might be what they call a vanishing twin.  Basically, it's an embryo that started to implant but didn't make it. So I do mourn the idea of knowing that there was a moment of twinness in my life.  Everyone loves multiples.  They are just fun.  Drew and I have always thought we would have twins.  Probably 10 people have had dreams that we would have twins. And this seemed like the perfect opportunity for God to allow that to happen.  It's a miracle that we are pregnant.  God is so good. Twins would be a miracle too, but as Drew said earlier today, "this is just the beginning of our family and it's a strong start".  He is so right and that makes me smile.  I have to remember that it's ok to mourn the loss of something that might have been.  I'm completely sentimental in normal life, then ramp that up by 1000 because of hormones and this seems overwhelming to me.  HOWEVER - I also am reminded that it is amazing that I am pregnant at all.  Here are the stats for a successful IVF:

• 30 to 35% for women under age 35
• 25% for women ages 35 to 37
• 15 to 20% for women ages 38 to 40
• 6 to 10% for women ages over 40

6-20% - That's out of 100% people!  God doesn't work on numbers, but I want to post what a low chance this procedure was for us.  I overheard the nurses talking the day of my transfer.  They were telling each other that IVF almost never works the first time.  That the dr's have to figure out what meds work on you etc. and this can take time.  God doesn't work on the advice of others.  Or on stats. He works on His plan.  His timing.  And this is His plan for us, in this exact moment in time, and it's amazing.

I wrote the title "There was only ONE Jesus" because it's true.  There was only one.  There was only one Moses. There was only one Isaac. There was only one John the Baptist. Only one Mother Theresa and it only takes one to change the world. 

We are blessed.  We are excited.  It's time to rejoice, there's another Smith coming into the world.