Things are always changing around us. Even as I look outside I see the leaves changing their color on the tree. Seems early since it's barely September, but God is in control and He will do things on His time. I laugh as I write that God is doing something early because it never seems to be the case. He isn't late either, but He's always right on time. His time though, not mine, and I hate that. The Lord of the Universe frustrates me with that "His time" thing. But the truth is, His timing really is perfect. Even though I can't see the end or even the middle of this story, I am learning to trust that the end is good. No, not good. OVERLY BLESSED!
We have decided to settle down a bit and only travel once a month or so. With this comes questions galore about how we are going to pay not only ministry bills but our own. So we change our direction (the way we think-the way we live) and are getting full time jobs outside of onetimeblind. This has been difficult as change always is. Drew has just started working at a restaurant and seems to be loving it. Ryan has applied at a few places and is WAITING to hear. Laura, well, she has her hands full with the change of going from 3 kids to 4. And I have also applied for a few jobs and WAIT to hear from them too. Ryan and Laura are also looking for a car/van and hope to move into a house early spring. Change. Drew and I keep praying for children and refuse to give up as we relentlessly chase the Creator of all things. And we all wait. It seems so many of my friends are in a waiting place of some kind. Either waiting for jobs, kids, houses, direction for the future, healing or just dinner-these things take time.
Change is hard. But it feels good. It's kind of like stretching muscles you haven't stretched in awhile. It hurts, but it feels good too. I have been doing on exercise program lately and included in the week is a day of yoga. I had never done yoga so I had no idea that it was so hard. I mean, I would watch people do this and they are moving so slow! I thought, "what could be so hard? And how are they getting tone bodies from practically doing nothing?" Again, I had no idea. Try yoga sometime, that's all I have to say about that. I honestly think yoga should be a requirement for all mankind because it really does teach us so much. Yoga is about balance, and focus. It makes you calm yourself down and concentrate on your muscles and on relaxing. One section is mainly related to balance and my instructor has me balancing on one leg or one toe or one finger etc. It seems impossible and as you stand there and try to focus you begin to shake. But he encourages you, "Keep Standing! You can do it". So, I take a deep breath and continue holding my stance. Sometime I fall out, but the instructor again says, "Sometimes you will fall out, that's ok, just regain your FOCUS and get your balance again". Sometimes I balance for so long my body trembles from the muscles straining. And again he says, "Do your best, and forget the rest".
Do my best and forget the rest. I think life could be boiled down to that simple sentence. We are trying to do our best. Everyday we keep holding our stance and focusing. But you know what, the world is cruel, and the enemy is even crueler. He will throw any distraction, worry, problem, or fear at us that he can. The last think he wants us to do is FOCUS. So I start to tremble and listen to him and see others falling out. My spirit feels faint and I get confused and scared. And then I hear my exercise instructor tell me, "The tip of the day is 'just breathe'" Wait. Refocus. Balance again. I feel my muscle being stretched. Breathe in.....breathe out.....breathe in.....breathe out.....and somehow as I keep breathing and pushing my muscles get more loose and the stretching almost (I said almost) feels good. Strength training. I guess as long as we keep breathing through this stretching and waiting in our lives, we will gain strength.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11
Peeling away piece by piece to get to the raw goodness of it all.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
I was encouraged to write from a friend we haven't seen in awhile. He told me he reads my blog sometimes and wondered why I hadn't written much. That sent me on a path of thought to review the past few years. Drew and I had been taking care of a friend who was terminally ill. For two years we lived with him, fed him, helped him bathe, filled his needs and tried to make the last few months of his life wonderful. I believe we did this as we loved as unconditionally as we could. Yes, we made mistakes, but we always felt like God was going to redeem us. It was a stressful two years. Last fall our friend had to move into his mothers house and because of our attachment to him we all decided it would be best to not remain in one anothers lives. It was hard. We were stressed in every area of our lives. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. Financially. All were a wreck. We needed Jesus more than we ever had needed him before. For 2 months we did nothing but sleep, go to counseling and try to figure out what to do. In a sense it was like we lost a child we never had. For those 2 years that we took care of him, we didn't do anything else. We gave up our families and friends, each other and ourselves. We hardly ever visited anyone and no one ever came over. We lost ourselves.
7 months later we are slowly finding ourselves and one another again. We have recently moved which has been AWESOME! God has led us to an unbelievable church with the kindest people and neighbors who have already become dear friends. We are excited about our future. He seems to be moving all things into place for us, our future, and our family.
God truly is making all things new.
I was at a show recently and talking with a friend who told me he wasn't mad at the circumstances in his life, but just disappointed. I was struck by this statement because, well, that's not ok. And because I understand. But, I believe God is not a God that disappoints. I TOTALLY BELIEVE He will give us what we ask if we come to Him asking for it. I TOTALLY believe if we claim His scripture we will receive and the things that man tell us don't matter. MAN IS FAULTY! I read a scripture that night at focus. 2 Corinthians 1:3-10
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us
The thing I got out of this scripture is that God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (v3). HE comforts US so that we can comfort those who need his comfort. Sometimes in certain situations we cant comfort in a way that we don't understand. For example, I have several friends who have had miscarriages. I feel the loss they feel in that I don't have any children. And I have a compassion for any loss that people have to go through. However, there is a depth to that specific loss that I will never know. (and hope not to know) But there are other losses or things that I have felt deeply that I now can comfort others through. God has comforted me and led me, pushed me, drug me, carried me, skipped with me, walked with me through many situations (emotionally, physically, spiritually) that I couldn't do on my own. And now I am able to give that comfort to others feeling that same deep loss as I did/do.
But--it goes on to say, "If we are distressed, it is for your comfort, if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same suffering we suffer." To me, this is saying the pain I am going through is to produce patient endurance in others who are also going through the same thing. I guess it isn't all about me. :) AND--we have hope because just as we share the same suffering, we will share our same comfort (which is God).
And v. 8-9 says Paul and peeps were so stressed and going through hardship they even thought they were going to be sentenced to death. I feel troubled, but I know I have my life-for now. But he says that it happened so they would rely on God and not ourselves. Lord help us, more of You and less of me.
BUT then the BEST PART is v. 10
:He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us! On HIM we have set our Hope that he will continue to deliver us, And back in v. 9 he mentions that we might rely not just on God, but on "God who raises the dead."!
What does this mean? Holy crap, it means if we put our Hope in Christ he will comfort us yes, but we must remember at all times HE IS THE GOD THAT CAN RAISE THE DEAD!!!!! You need a miracle?
I know I do, and I'm praying for one. And God is going to give me one. We put our hope in Christ who can take something that is dying, dead, broken, missing, damaged, and HE can RAISE IT UP! I love God.
The problem for me with this scripture (however much I love and believe it) is that word that haunts me....Hope. In a cd that I just got from a dear friend the description had this sentence, "There are still women who weep hopeless tears." May we cling to the promises of LIFE and RESTORATION in the scripture and press into it. Write it on our doors, windows, fridges, mirrors, pictures, skin, hearts, cars and everywhere else we need to until we believe it.
Oh, God--give us your comfort...and then raise the dead.
7 months later we are slowly finding ourselves and one another again. We have recently moved which has been AWESOME! God has led us to an unbelievable church with the kindest people and neighbors who have already become dear friends. We are excited about our future. He seems to be moving all things into place for us, our future, and our family.
God truly is making all things new.
I was at a show recently and talking with a friend who told me he wasn't mad at the circumstances in his life, but just disappointed. I was struck by this statement because, well, that's not ok. And because I understand. But, I believe God is not a God that disappoints. I TOTALLY BELIEVE He will give us what we ask if we come to Him asking for it. I TOTALLY believe if we claim His scripture we will receive and the things that man tell us don't matter. MAN IS FAULTY! I read a scripture that night at focus. 2 Corinthians 1:3-10
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us
The thing I got out of this scripture is that God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (v3). HE comforts US so that we can comfort those who need his comfort. Sometimes in certain situations we cant comfort in a way that we don't understand. For example, I have several friends who have had miscarriages. I feel the loss they feel in that I don't have any children. And I have a compassion for any loss that people have to go through. However, there is a depth to that specific loss that I will never know. (and hope not to know) But there are other losses or things that I have felt deeply that I now can comfort others through. God has comforted me and led me, pushed me, drug me, carried me, skipped with me, walked with me through many situations (emotionally, physically, spiritually) that I couldn't do on my own. And now I am able to give that comfort to others feeling that same deep loss as I did/do.
But--it goes on to say, "If we are distressed, it is for your comfort, if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same suffering we suffer." To me, this is saying the pain I am going through is to produce patient endurance in others who are also going through the same thing. I guess it isn't all about me. :) AND--we have hope because just as we share the same suffering, we will share our same comfort (which is God).
And v. 8-9 says Paul and peeps were so stressed and going through hardship they even thought they were going to be sentenced to death. I feel troubled, but I know I have my life-for now. But he says that it happened so they would rely on God and not ourselves. Lord help us, more of You and less of me.
BUT then the BEST PART is v. 10
:He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us! On HIM we have set our Hope that he will continue to deliver us, And back in v. 9 he mentions that we might rely not just on God, but on "God who raises the dead."!
What does this mean? Holy crap, it means if we put our Hope in Christ he will comfort us yes, but we must remember at all times HE IS THE GOD THAT CAN RAISE THE DEAD!!!!! You need a miracle?
I know I do, and I'm praying for one. And God is going to give me one. We put our hope in Christ who can take something that is dying, dead, broken, missing, damaged, and HE can RAISE IT UP! I love God.
The problem for me with this scripture (however much I love and believe it) is that word that haunts me....Hope. In a cd that I just got from a dear friend the description had this sentence, "There are still women who weep hopeless tears." May we cling to the promises of LIFE and RESTORATION in the scripture and press into it. Write it on our doors, windows, fridges, mirrors, pictures, skin, hearts, cars and everywhere else we need to until we believe it.
Oh, God--give us your comfort...and then raise the dead.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
freedom at the movies
I am sitting here trying to write a new skit on freedom and watching all kinds of videos about this subject. But I can't stop thinking about what happened to me yesterday.
I got a phone call from Eden who is 5. She explained to me that every year her family gets to pick a football team and if that team wins the super bowl Nana gives them $25. Well, this year 5 year old Eden won. She was given the $25 and her parents told her she could do anything she wants with the money. After thinking awhile she came out to the living room and announced that she had decided what she wanted. She knew she could buy any toy or dvd she wanted. But after much thought she told them she first wanted to give some money to God and second decided to ask aunt Sassy (me) to go to the movies. So she called me to ask if I wanted to go with her. "My treat" she said. Did I mention she is 5?
To put into words how special a person must be to be picked out of all of her friends and family I can't do. Not only that, she chose me over a new doll, high school musical stuff, video game, or a trip to her favorite McDonalds! CRAZY special.
I still don't have a skit on freedom, but at least I feel special to live in a country where a 5 year old can take her aunt to the movies and that's pretty cool.
I got a phone call from Eden who is 5. She explained to me that every year her family gets to pick a football team and if that team wins the super bowl Nana gives them $25. Well, this year 5 year old Eden won. She was given the $25 and her parents told her she could do anything she wants with the money. After thinking awhile she came out to the living room and announced that she had decided what she wanted. She knew she could buy any toy or dvd she wanted. But after much thought she told them she first wanted to give some money to God and second decided to ask aunt Sassy (me) to go to the movies. So she called me to ask if I wanted to go with her. "My treat" she said. Did I mention she is 5?
To put into words how special a person must be to be picked out of all of her friends and family I can't do. Not only that, she chose me over a new doll, high school musical stuff, video game, or a trip to her favorite McDonalds! CRAZY special.
I still don't have a skit on freedom, but at least I feel special to live in a country where a 5 year old can take her aunt to the movies and that's pretty cool.
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