Mashed Potatoes and Nutty Bars

So sorry for my lateness in writing another post.  I seemed to have gained a love for sleep the past few weeks and so that is what I've been doing.  The roughest time of the day is 2:30pm - 8 then 8:30-12. You get the idea.

It's only been one week and 4 days since I heard that cute little heartbeat and I must say it wasn't really until this week that I started to feel like it's real.  Even though I know I heard that heartbeat.  It's such a strange thing.  I'm officially 8 weeks and 6 days-ish today. But I'm sure all of that will change when he measures the baby again. Baby stuff is weird.  I've been feeling good though.  Just a few cravings here and there.  Yes, mashed potatoes and nutty bars.  No, not together, that's gross. But I'm feeling pretty normal.  I do have slight tugging and pulling at times down there which is strange. I'm sure it's just things growing but its odd.  And I do have to pee like every 20 minutes, but I am drinking a lot of water.  I guess I'm doing pretty good.  OH--the dreams...I've had some crazy ones so far.  I've dreamt I had 3 very long horrible boobs. And I kept trying to figure out why I had 3 and what the heck I was supposed to do with them!  (sorry uncles, it's true and it was horrible!) I've dreamt I was trying to take a shower but every time I would step in my clothes would be back on.  And some I can't even write cuz they were that strange. Some pretty weird stuff.

We went for a visit to see Kari and fam. It was so good to see them. When mom and dad died, Kari took some of mom's yarn from the sewing room.  Mom used to crochet or knit blankets all the time.  Well, several years ago Kari ended up giving it to a woman she worked with at the time because she thought she could use it more than Kari could.  When Kari had Jonathan's baby shower that woman gave her a baby blanket knitted with the yarn that was moms.  When we went to visit Kari & fam last week she gave that blanket to me and said it's like a part of mom is with me now.  I burst into tears (as I am now) and I'm so thankful for having such a wonderful sister who would be willing to share such a special gift with me.  I sleep with it next to me knowing my mom is smiling. And knowing my baby has a gift from Grandma Jane.


It's been a pretty emotional week.

Honestly, the thing I've been thinking about most is how God loves me. I mean, seriously. I was totally content with God before baby. He's given me so much in my life including Himself.  I am so totally humbled to think He would look deep into my desires and gently give life to it.  It is overwhelming.

Someone had asked the significance of the heart in my ultrasound and so I thought I would share that story.

Several years ago Drew and I were going through a very rough time in our marriage.  The kind that most don't make it through.  We had our mornings at home so we would get up and go for morning walks.  One morning I woke up and was feeling so depressed and completely broken.  Drew told me for some reason he felt like God wanted to give me His heart.  Drew thought it was strange, but that's what God kept bringing to his mind to tell me.  I honestly didn't care what Drew or God had to say to me and I wasn't interested in God's cryptic messages.  So we got up that morning and went for our morning walk.  During our walk Drew said again, "I know it's strange but I really feel like God wants to give you His heart".  I rolled my eyes and then looked at the ground and this is what I saw:

Interesting.

I thought, 'that's weird.' and I picked it up and kept walking.  Drew of course thought that was awesome.  haha.  Well, since that day, God has continued to give me His heart.  First I would see hearts that were random paper on the ground or something common like that.  It was weird because I started seeing them everywhere.  It started to get a bit strange.

I started taking pictures of them and now have thousands of pictures.  I'm in the process of uploading them to a new site called, LiveDifferentLiveLoved.com   I share this story with lots of people and talk about how God is trying so hard to get our attention, but we are missing Him.  He's in the everyday but we pass right by.  It's like He is saying, "I love you.  I love you. I love you." But we are not seeing it. We are too busy.  We just keep living.  Without Him.

I told this story to a group and a woman came up to me afterwards and said, "You live differently when you live loved".  She was right. She was so right. Ever since then I've been trying to wrap my brain around why God loves me so much.  Why He not only gave his son to die so that I can be free to live as His daughter in His kingdom, but that He LONGS to spend time with me and He LONGS to see me succeed and laugh and have Joy and Peace and just be..happy!  He has been overwhelming me my whole life with how He loves me.  It's really pretty hard to believe.  But I know it's true. I know He does love me.  And it has made me live differently.

You can see some of the pictures of the hearts at this site: http://livedifferentliveloved.com/.  I'm still uploading pics, it's taking a lot of time. :)

God is so good.

Laura and I are speaking at a retreat this weekend so if you think about it please pray for us.  It's in the UP of Michigan, far from home.  I'm not worried, but I wish I wasn't going so far away. I kinda like staying close to home in my 9 weeks growing a baby life.  But God ordained this program, so I know I will be ok and that God will be present, change lives (even mine) and keep us safe.  Besides, he gave us this...

and then this.....

He is so so so good.