Sunday, January 06, 2013

Mom says hello

Friday was a pretty emotional day for me.  It was the first time in a long time that I really missed my mom. I realized that I had shared the news with so many people, but obviously wasn't able to share with her.  I talked to a few of my aunts and it was nice to hear their encouraging words and how she would be so happy.  It did help, but nothing could take the place of telling your mom that she would finally be a grandma of my kids.  I am blessed (very very blessed) to have Sweet Lou in my life and she has been one of the most amazing, encouraging and loving mother-in-laws I could imagine.  I don't even like calling her a mother-in-law because she is so deserving of a greater title than that.  But I was wishing there was a way for my mom to know, for her to be excited with all of us, for her to rejoice for the time that has come.

I had my second blood test on Saturday morning.  I slept in a bit and made it there just in time.  I'm allowed to come in between 7-8:30 am.  Please, it's Saturday, like I'm going to wake up at 6 for a 5 minute blood draw.  I was in a good mood, not feeling too stressed etc. but still strangely crying in the waiting room.  It's very hard to believe I'm pregnant, but I'm praying for my embies/babies even though it doesn't seem real.  I was praying that the numbers would be higher to show they are growing.  I like the nurse that was drawing my blood that morning.  She drew my blood another time and did a good job.  She told me she thought I would make a good mother and she was excited for us.  It was nice.  On my way in to get the blood draw I saw the doctor.  I wasn't scheduled to see him so that was a nice surprise.  He gave me a big smile and a high five.  "Look at that, it worked!", I said.  He responded with, "Now lets hope there's not a litter in there".  He said my numbers were high and he is proud of me.  I got my blood drawn and was making my appointment when the doctor came out again.  He gave me a hug and said he was so excited for us.  He asked me how I was feeling and I told him he was a great doctor.  Which he is.  Even if it wouldn't have worked, he is a good doctor.

The nurse tried to explain how the due date works for IVF and I'm still confused on how they count. But I'm hoping the ultrasound will clear any of that up.  My appointment for the ultrasound which includes hearing the heart beats and finding out how many will be January 19th.  Seems like a lifetime away, but it's just the week after next and I will have another blood draw this thursday to basically help the time go by. The nurse said I don't have to have another blood draw, but I decided I wanted one just to make sure things are still ok. She told me I would be under their care until my second ultrasound, then I would "graduate" to my normal OBGYN.  I really really like my OB, but it will be sad that I can't see this all the way with Dr. B.  I do feel thankful to like both doctors.  I know that's not always the case.  The nurse told me I needed to make my appointment now for my first appt. with my OB. She said if I wait till I'm released I might have to wait another 2 weeks to get in. So I'm calling tomorrow to make the appt. for the week of Feb. 11th.  So crazy.

So, I got my blood results and my HCG had grown to 4633!!!!  Nurse said this was a VERY good number and she said all of my levels look great.  I was SO thankful.  I guess it made it a little more real to me.  Each day it gets a little more real.  And that's a good thing.  We told a few more people at church today.  It's still a little nerve racking to let so many people know, but we are believing GOODNESS and PROTECTION on/in/over/through/around my womb.  So, we celebrate with one another. It's such a good thing.

When I got the number of our second test, I almost started crying.  I know this is going to sound weird, but my Aunt Irene had written me and encouraged me to pay attention to the small things that are happening around me.  I wrote that number down 4633 and was stunned. My home phone number growing up was 463-3342.  I really felt like God was allowing me to get a little hug from my mom.  I felt like He was saying, not only does she know about this, but she's been waiting excitedly with God for this very hour in my life.  God is so good to me. Sometimes I can't even believe it.

I have to go to work tomorrow and try to focus on something other than charlie horses in my arms and how much bigger my already blessed boobs are going to get.

This is really happening.

4 comments:

lou said...

Sweetheart, your mom knows and yes she is giving you lots of hugs and love. No one else can take her place but I am so very blessed to have you as a daughter(in-law) or as I like to say a daughter-by-law..you mean so much to me and I truly believe your mom is with you every step of the way in heaven and I will be there for you here on earth. God is truly good.

Shanny said...

She knows. She sooo knows.

...also, congratulations. Those are fantastic numbers... I don't remember mine being that high AND I got twins ;)

SouleSista said...

Something inside me believes that she knows, and she's rejoicing with you!!

ShawSisters said...

I agree with what has already been said. She definitely knows. I liked the image I had of my dad holding my son before we were able to meet him. Your mom already knows your kids!

One thing I had to do with Graydon was keep a journal to my dad during the process. When we got the call, I wrote him a letter. And I wrote a few more, telling him about everything I would have told him, had he been alive. I even took it to the hospital with me. Maybe that won't help you, but thought I would share what helped me! Hugs to you