ADOPTION

WE HAVE DECIDED TO ADOPT!!!!!!!!


Now before you start asking lots of questions let me answer some.  For the past few months we have been contemplating adoption as we move forward with our lives and journey for a family.  We still VERY MUCH believe we are going to have biological children, but feel at this time God wants us to adopt.  We are SO excited to begin this adventure and as we move forward I'm sure I will be blogging through the difficulties as already there has been many.  We aren't completely sure if we want to adopt domestic or internationally, but we are feeling more led at this time to adopt internationally.  God could definitely change our hearts on this, but this is where we feel the most peace right now.  We are looking at a few agencies and are wanting to make our decision soon so we can start fundraising.  So, if you know of any organizations that help financially with adoptions, please let us know.  We are open to all advice and support!

A few obstacles that stand in our way:

Jobs.
We need better jobs.  Currently I'm working 10 hours a week as a nanny and have committed to work there for at least a few more months.  I am nervous to get a full time job because if we adopt I don't want to have to work full time with kids.  And part time jobs are also not easily workable with schedules etc.  We are still traveling with onetimeblind a few times a month, but each month is different and we can't rely on getting paid regularly.  Drew loves his job as a server, but he's not making enough money either. So we both sit and wait while looking for other opportunities God might have for us.  We are not giving up, but just need something stable.  In this economy..sigh.  Jobs would not only give us stability as a family but allow us to pay off debt and move forward.  Maybe even get a second car that we need in 2 months before the snow hits, or get new tires for the one we have.  We are working so hard and not getting anywhere.  1 step forward and 2 steps back.  We keep hoping for something better.  And we serve a God that loves to provide and work miracles, so we are counting on that.  We've never had a back up plan, just God.

Housing.
We live in an apartment.  It's a nice apartment and I'm happy with it.  I've become accustom to its balcony and deer walking along the path of trees as the little bunnies hop.  For reals.  But when adopting it's hard not to feel like a failure when everyone else has a house, and a yard, and bedroomS (plural), and dogs etc. I start to feel abnormal and like we could never adopt.  I know this isn't true, but its what the enemy tells me.  The truth is we haven't been able to do much because of our income.  I don't think people realize that we have never had even an average income.  People are surprised when they hear we are having difficulties paying our few bills.  It's ok, this is what we have chosen, but it's troublesome when life/God has other plans and we aren't given natural children.  We now have to work for it. A lot. I wonder how living in an apartment could be a better life for this child we might adopt.  SHEESH, what's wrong with me? But I feel myself labeling us, labeled into a category that we didn't choose.  And categories suck.

Health.
I am depressed.  There I said it.  But who cares? Lots of people are depressed right now.  And rightly so, life is hard!  We have been in "transition" for years now trying to figure out what God wants us to do while trying to (and sometimes putting off) figure out how to heal ourselves enough for God to give us children.  So here we are not traveling much, still trying to have children, not very much money, and trying to adopt.  We found out that we aren't eligible to adopt from a certain country because I'm depressed right now.  (roll the eyes) MILD DEPRESSION PEOPLE!  But still the news doesn't put me in a happy mood.  This particular country doesn't want you to have any health issues.  It was frustrating. But we reminded ourselves that we are praying for God to shut the doors He doesn't want us to go through since we feel there are so many options these days.  So when He does this we need to be ok with it.  He is and will give us His BEST.  I wonder what that is?
*and yes, I'm on meds and feeling better.  Many of my friends call it the happy pill and they are right.  It helps me think and get out of bed.  That is a good thing.  Now if only they could come up with a pill to solve my problems.  ;-)

God is on the move.  I know it.  I've never been through such a strange season of my life where there are lots of directions to move in and I'm not sure which one to go.  I'm being forced to figure out who I am and what I want out of life.  Family, marriage, housing, career, dogs and bunnies, so much to think about.  So we just have to start moving and pray that God will close the wrong doors like I said before.  So--life will go on and get better.  I know it.  This season reminds me of being born.  At least what I think it would feel like.  Lots of pushing, nasty liquid stuff, big things coming out of places that don't seem natural, and one comfy season leading to a whole new world of seasons.  Yeah, birthing.

So please keep us in your prayers as we continue to push through on our journey.  I will be updating regularly as the adoption process is SUPER overwhelming.  God has a plan.

“Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,

but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,

you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”

– Unknown