Day 12.12.12

WOW! Now this was an amazing day. I woke not expecting much, but we went to our appointment at 8:15.  It was crazy busy there.  We arrived and there were 3 couples ahead of us already having their appointments and one other person in the waiting room.  We were told at the beginning of the cycle that we are one of 8 other couples.  We are all on the same cycle so I guess that's probably why it was so busy. We got our blood drawn first (usually we have our ultrasound first) by the same technician as yesterday. I was a bit scared because yesterday when she took my blood my arm hurt for over an hour. But today she did better. :)

We finally had our ultrasound and my follicles were ripe! That sounds yucky, but I guess that just means they are ready to go.  I had 8 on my right side that were pretty good sized and only 1 on my left.  It's so weird how the left side of my body has always been a bit off balance.  My hair is thicker on the left side. My foot is bigger on the left side. When I smile my left eye squints.  It's like all my life my left side is trying to rebel against me.  But....the doctor was still pleased with the amount on the right side, so that is good.  He told me he thought I was ready for the

HCG TRIGGER SHOT!!!!!!

For those who aren't sure what that is...it's basically the shot that tells my body to ovulate. And it has to be at a very specific time. An exact time. Nurse Patti said she would call me later with the details and she explained how we were supposed to give the shot and she mixed it for us and gently placed it in a cooler for us to take home. Oh, she also drew a very exact circle on my hip so Drew couldn't miss the spot.  Drew was very careful with the box. heehee. 

The timing of the shot has to be exact depending on what time the retrieval is.  The retrieval happens 36 hours after the shot.  So, later this afternoon I got a call from Patti telling me my estrogen number is over 2300 which is great! And retrieval will be at 12pm on Friday. So that means my shot has to be given at....(can you do the backwards math?)...1AM TONIGHT!  yikes. So it's 11:30, I'm tired, and we are waiting. We thought about going to bed, but frankly we are so tired we might not wake up. So we are waiting.  And watching cartoons of course. (drew's favorite) But the BEST news is Dr. B will be doing our retrieval!  He's going away for the weekend so we thought we might not get him, but because our retrieval is Friday he will still be there. I'm SO THANKFUL!!!!!!  I like the other Dr. too, but he's just not my dr. , ya know?  Dr. B is the best. So thats my biggest blessing for the day! PRAISE GOD! It calms my fears just a bit. :)

Did I mention the trigger shot is the last shot? So the final total is..21 shots. wowsers. But I'm thankful because I know women used to have to do more. I took my last dose shot a few minutes ago. Now waiting for the other. 

Tomorrow I have ZERO shots! YAY!!! I can't have any food or drink 8 hours before retrieval so (counting backwards again?) well, that basically means I will be starving by the time it's all over.  And we will be going to sonic for a Cranberry lime-aid, loaded tots and possibly a strawberry shake.  In my mind that's where I see us going, but reality might look more like me sleeping and going home.  Either way, it will be SO good to have that over. 

I'm nervous about the retrieval.  I've never had an IV. I've never had a procedure where I'm knocked out except when I got my wisdom teeth out. I don't know why I'm so scared about that, probably just fear of the unknown.  I guess I've never had 9 full grown follicles in me either.  You know the feeling when you have to pee SO bad, but you're driving so you have to hold it and you start to cramp a little? That's what having 9 ripe follicles feels like. At least it does to me. I've been taking it easy and baby-ing myself a little bit.  Why not? 

Once the retrieval is done, we will know that day how many eggs they got.  They will fertilize all of them and see how many survive.  They usually don't all survive. There are a lot of factors at play here. We will get daily updates after that regarding how they are growing and what they look like.  Depending on how they look and are growing they will either be put in me on day 3 or day 5.  So we are looking to either Monday or Wednesday. And they will either implant 2-3 but not more than that. We agreed that was a good plan. I'm praying for 3 good embryo's. That doesn't mean they will all survive, but it just gives us a better chance for ONE surviving.  

Once the embryo's are inserted I will be on bed rest for 3 days. Then that leads me to CHRISTMAS!!!!  whew...I've got a lot to do.  So this weekend I will be trying to catch up on everything I thought I wanted to do for Christmas so I can get ready for next week.  A big week indeed.  Our next appointment with the dr's will be 14 days later. So, we won't know if this procedure worked until probably the new year. It is an amazing process. Only God knows our future and time will tell what's next for us.  But first, in 1 hour, the trigger shot. Things are much easier when handled in little bits. 

One more hour...stay awake kat..stay awake...

Day 11 - tired & sore

What a day.

I haven't been able to get much sleep lately and so my emotions are up. Our appointment this morning was at 7am and we went right to work after. We just got home from musical rehearsal and will repeat that schedule tomorrow. Luckily our appointment tomorrow is at 8:30 though. PRAISE GOD as I could use the extra sleep.

Our appointment today was good and meh.  Good because I'm almost done with my meds!!! Meh, because I'm still on my meds.  Just took shot #18.  It hurt this time.  I'm not sure why they are starting to hurt. The didn't hurt for most of this week and I'm thankful for that!  Dr. B said today that things are looking good.  He measured 7 good sized follicles in my right ovary and 2 in my left. My left has always been a bit behind. haha.  But he thought those were pretty good numbers.  He said he could tell me to take the HCG shot tonight but he really wanted to give a bit more time for the smaller follicles to catch up. So...we take shot #18.  At our appointment tomorrow he will determine if we take the HCG tomorrow night OR if we wait until Thursday.  Dr. B thought it would be Thursday, but if I grow enough tonight it could be tomorrow. I think I secretly hope it's tomorrow.  Saturday we have our first night of the musical and I'm not sure how I'm going to feel after this procedure but I would love to be there.  BUT--more that that I want God's timing. :)

So.. more info in the morning.

I'm a bit nervous about the procedure.  I think I have an IV and I've never had that before.  I'm pretty healthy (thank God) and I've never had surgery and only one broken bone when I was 2. My cousin was carrying me down the stairs, tripped and fell on me.  Yes, it was broken.  No I haven't let her forget it. But I do love her. Even if she broke my leg. It's just strange to know they will be taking out my eggs.  I just don't really know what to expect.

We paid our bill today.  It's official. We are doing this.

I got the results of my blood test this afternoon and my estrogen is over 1000.  I guess that's normal. Nurse Patti said they like to see close to 2000.  So I have just a bit more to go.  She said I'm doing great, and Dr. B told me he was proud of me.  They were VERY nice and encouraging to me today.  I'm thinking girls get nervous and anxious around this time. Therefore, we need the extra nice words. I have to admit, it worked for me.

I also found out that Dr. B wont be here this weekend to do the retrieval.  It's going to be Dr. M. He's a great guy too and very good at what he does, but I was hoping it was Dr. B.  :(  Again, I know, God's plan is perfect.  I have a lot of peace and rest in knowing that God has my best interest in His heart. He knows this story already. Nothing is a surprise to Him. I find comfort in that. He's working all things out for my good.

So for tonight, I let my belly thaw from the freezing (to help with the pain of the shot) and then I'm off to bed.  Praying for healthy eggs and peaceful sleep.

I can't thank you enough for praying us through this time.  You each mean so much to me. Peace to you tonight too.

Day 10

Happy Birthday Eden! Today Laura's daughter Eden turns 9.

It's strange how fast she's grown. I remember when Laura announced she was pregnant. We were both trying to have children at the same time. I was SO excited for her, and then so confused when I never became pregnant. I became jealous and angry at my circumstance. Laura was amazing as she tried to understood my pain and I tried to understand her joy. We walked together. Joy & Sorrow. We were traveling full time on the road with onetimeblind and I spent every day with this amazing little girl Eden. We've developed a very special relationship & I love her so much.  I can't help but imagine that I might have had a child this age as well. Or even older. But that's not my story.

Tonight I am tired and doing laundry. I really want to go to bed early tonight. We have an early appointment tomorrow and I need my rest! I'm out of medicine starting in the morning. I called and talked to my nurse who told me that she has some for me if I need it for tomorrow night. That will give me a day to order more if needed. Otherwise we will be assigned to do the big shot! YIKES! I know it's coming soon...I'm just trying to think happy thoughts. If I look like I'm ready to go to retrieval tomorrow morning then the nurse will mix our meds for us and draw a bullseye on my butt so drew knows exactly where to give it to me that night. The meds will trigger me to ovulate and then 36 hours later I can have the procedure for retrieval. All of this is happening soon! If it doesn't look like I'm ready, then I will order more meds and go back the following morning until I am ready. But again, retrieval is soon! I'm a little scared about the big shot, but I know it's a temporary pain so I just assume I can take it for a short amount of time. And I'm a little scared about the procedure, but again, I know these doctors have done this a million times. It's all nerve racking as well as exciting. :) I know God has a plan, so I rest in that.  There are a million things that could go wrong. And also a million things that could go right. It's just life, ya know? Things happen, but as drew once said, 

We can always hope because there's always a tomorrow

and I agree.