Day 4

Day 4 has gone by quickly.

Nothing to crazy to report.  Shots are still happening! I'm starting to show a little "wear & tear" from the needles.  Sheesh, that sounds pretty awful.  Really it's just little red dots. No biggie.  The shots haven't been as bad as everyone says.  Especially when I ice first. That REALLY helps. Tomorrow I'm 1/2 way to my next appt. which is on Saturday.  I can't wait. for real. I'm wondering how things are growing down there. It's strange to know things are happening down there. I sit and feel my belly wondering if I can feel something.  Not a PERSON obviously. But just feeling different. idk. My girlfriend who has been through this tells me by the end she felt full down there. Kinda like bloated I guess.  For her I think she said they retrieved 13 and only 8 were good. So again, not looking at the numbers....just thinking. :)

Tonight I spoke at a woman's dinner in Lansing. It was fun.  It seemed the topic of the night was women who have all birthed at least 3 kids and more of them naturally. Then I met a woman who has 7 kids. She said her husband had 2 VASECTOMY's and had 2 oops babies.  She said even the doctors were astounded at how that happened. I just thought, that is so crazy. Each person's story is so very different from the next. But to be honest, all of these stories made me feel tired. They made me second guess if this is really what I want anymore.  I mean, for real...I'm 40 and come home to a quiet apartment where I can do whatever I want. I get up in the morning after a nice nights rest and make coffee and get ready for work. If this works everything will be different in a few short months. My friend Laura told me what I'm feeling is normal and once I hear those cute feet running down the hall I will feel different.  I asked her if she would take the babies until then. Babies poop a lot. And cry a lot. But they do grow fast.

I guess this is sounding like a strange post when I've asked you all to pray for us! In my heart of hearts I know God's promise for us.  I've been ready for this next season for a long time.  I think God is just making me feel content in this season.  I feel a lot of peace. I feel very calm. I'm trying to stay stress free.  And as Nurse Patti says, "the most important part is to keep breathing." . I think that's the best advice I've gotten about life. Keep Breathing. Tomorrow is another day.

My friend Suzanne told me to make a ring chain and every shot I take I get to remove a ring. I thought that was a GREAT idea, but I haven't been home to make one.  I love the idea of counting down.  My hope is that I will have to only take 16 shots.  BUT--even at my most, I would hope I only have 16 left. I can do this.  Drew is an EXCELLENT shot giver now. No falling on the floor. No double pokes. No leaving the meds out of the fridge all day (yes, that happened, but it was still kinda cold so we prayed it was fine and are believing it is) It's all going to be ok.

OH!>>>>>so our friend Jim's funeral is on Friday.  They found out that their life insurance policy hadn't matured yet. They had 4 more months. So now they have to pay for the funeral out of pocket.  Such a sad, sad story. There's another woman who lost her husband a few years ago.  She has a blog and get's paid by advertisers anytime someone visits her page.  I'm asking people to visit her page as often as you can.  She's donating the money in December to my friend Amy.  So please if you get a chance, visit this blog veronica king blog  She has an amazing testimony too.  God is so good at redeeming.

The stars were out and the moon was low and full.  It was a beautiful night as drew and I figured out we were staring at Jupiter.  I'm so thankful to be on this journey with him.  He's an amazing man.

Sweet dreams until tomorrow.