Day 8

We leave for our appointment in 15 minutes. I'm nervous today. I don't know why though.  I'm hoping everything looks great down there and that the meds are working perfectly.  I have a feeling we might have to order more meds for next week. It's an additional cost I was hoping to avoid, but with this type of treatment you are either in, or out.  There is no..."well, I guess I changed my mind". I mean, you CAN do that, but please, I don't know who would.  It would be a waste of God's money. And I wouldn't want to stop.  I've actually been (ssshhhhh) enjoying the process.  I don't feel overwhelmed or stressed. I have peace about whatever happens. God is good and He read the book of my life before I was born. He knows the outcome even though I don't.  So if I trust Him there's no reason to get nervous. He's got me. And to me, that's all that matters. 

Last night's shot (#12) hurt. I decided to get it right below my belly button vs. to the right or left. Bad idea. Even though I iced, I could feel the meds going in and stinging me.  I had to keep reminding myself that tattoos hurt more.  And I've done that several times for more than 30 seconds (the time of a shot).  I have found most of this journey is a mind game. Where are your thoughts? What are you speaking? Faith raises something up in you that gives you strength beyond what you thought was possible.  Trusting God to know that all is well and His plan is best for me. No matter what that looks like.  Let's be honest, no one wants to be an old mom or dad.  But I bet at some point that didn't matter to Abraham and Sarah anymore.  I bet they were just thankful to be in God's mighty plan for saving the world. Most of us are too small to realize that we are in God's mighty plan for saving the world. How would we live or think differently if we actually believed that?

Yesterday was emotional. Extremely sad for losing my friend Jim and for his wife Amy who now starts a new journey.  Darry & Montina, Tony & Courtney, Allan D, Ryan & Laura and Drew and I got together for coffee which lead to hanging out more which lead to dinner. It was SO sweet to my soul.  I miss all of them more than I could express.  This morning after our appointment we are having breakfast with the Shavers. I know life takes us in different directions, but I'm so thankful to be loved by such amazing people.  

Here we go to our appointment.  Say a little prayer for us! (even though I know most of you are still sleeping. That's where I would like to be too..so maybe just sleep for us for a few more hours) :)