Sweet 16w and it's skate-tastic!

ice rinks are cold, just fyi

she's on the left

Today was sort of a date day for drew and I.  We headed to Ann Arbor to see a niece (well, adopted niece, still counts) skate in her ice skating recital. She did amazing and the show was pretty fun. I've never been to an ice skating anything so it was cool to watch the different age groups skate, dance, jump, twirl and smile on the ice. There were the 2 year olds who came out of a rocket and basically the goal was to not fall down.  They skated forward, waved and then back into the rocket.  They all had on helmets and they were CRAZY cute.  Even Drew was like..O--K-- with cuteness. We visited with friends for a bit afterwards and on the drive home drew and I dreamed and wondered what our kids will be like.  Will they be artsy or like sports? Will they be in the math club or on the swim team? It's so interesting to think about. We agreed that we don't really want to be busy but also understood in a bigger city like what we live in things are so competitive and expensive. We don't like that. But bigger cities have lots of opportunities.  This is good.  But in smaller towns they probably don't have as many opportunities but things are cheaper and maybe less competitive.  Is there a place where we can have both worlds?

I was in dance when I was 5. We moved and then I wasn't in it anymore.  I wonder if that was because the cost was more or if it was because I begged not do it.  I was shy then and didn't want to move. So meeting new kids wasn't high on my list. Maybe my mom thought keeping me from dance for a year would help me.  But then I never went back to dance.  I do wish she would've kept me in it. I seemed to develop a habit of not being in or finishing much of anything as I grew up. I tried softball but was afraid of getting hurt so I quit after a year. I did stay in choir, but never felt like I excelled at it. It might not come down to dance, but there's so much I wish my parents would've made me do.  I wish I would've learned piano even if I didn't want to. I would know how to play right now, but I don't.  I can't swim because after one year of lessons I hated it (because I couldn't swim and I was in the beginner class while my friends who could swim were many classes ahead of me).  I felt like I never really got good at anything.

Now I know that I had lots of talents but I never applied myself to any of them.  I'm sure it was hard for my parents as I know I complained a lot too.  Oh, and I was lazy.

I want to have a balance in my life with kids. I want to do fun things but also know that it's ok to stay home and do "nothing."  Life is so crazy busy with always doing things that we never really stop to enjoy life. One of my favorite days last summer was when Drew and I packed up a picnic and took Ajax to the local park. Ajax freaked out a bit, but I thought it was peaceful and relaxing (until we noticed bugs were falling on us from the trees above - YIKES - not...good and a party pooper for sure).  But it was good to slow down.

I've realized it will be hard to get balance in life when the baby gets here when I feel like I can't even get balance now.  There are so many things that I want to do.  Today I made a list of 10 things that I want to get done but having trouble finding the time to do them.  One of those things is make a grocery list/plan for dinners. Another is clean.  UGH.. I can't figure out why these things are so hard. I know I've been working a lot lately, and I'm prego etc. but it seems like women who do those things PLUS grad school and/or having other kids get these simple tasks done!  I'm not sure where my time goes or what my problem is.

I was thinking about the baby girl name we picked out tonight. It sounds so perfect. No, I don't know that we are having a girl. But we really only have 2 girl names and one stands out over the other. We have several boy names. Drew has been collecting these names for years. He literally has a list of at least 20.  It will be strange in 2 1/2 weeks to find out what we are having.  Honestly, I'm more excited to see the baby again.  I haven't felt movement yet which I know is normal, but I've been praying for at least flutters. There are times I think I feel it, but I can't be sure that's really what it is.  I can't wait till the baby moves every day.  I know it will be the strangest feeling in the world. I can't imagine. I'm excited to see its face. The last ultrasound it was so tiny it looked like a peanut. It did have legs - kicking - but that was unusual for that age. I was thankful as I believe we have a strong warrior inside of me right now.  We are going to get the 411 on 4-11.

Tomorrow I am being blessed by going shopping with one of my special aunts. I feel overwhelmed to be blessed by this. She wants to take me to get a few maternity clothes and even just writing about it makes me cry. I guess because it makes me feel so loved. She doesn't have to buy me anything, but just knowing that she cares enough to spend time with me really makes me feel loved by my mother.  I know mom would be so excited to be a grandma again, even if it would be her 8th grandbaby.  That's weird to think about. She would be making all kinds of baby stuff for me. Blankets, burp clothes and who knows what else! She was a creative one!  I know she is so thankful that I am so taken care of and blessed by SO many people in my life.  I have already received so many special gifts. Even one of my best friends mom (mama V - LOVE YOU!) made me a special pair of booties for the baby.

I just started my 16th week and with that I'm feeling pretty good. There are still strange pregnant things that are happening to my body that I will spare you the details since uncles are reading--you're welcome- but just when I think the new normal is normal my body does something else that's different. Then I get an email update about my pregnancy and it explains the exact thing that's happening to me and how that too is normal.  It must be God sending these emails so I don't freak out. haha. 

Even though this is my 15 week picture, I pretty much look the same. I received a special shirt that is SO cute and I will be taking pictures in that as I grow as well.  So I will leave you with my growing thankful body.

baby bump