My Shrink

Yup, i know, don't fall over, but today i went to meet my 'counselor'. I have been debating for years now my need to talk to a stranger about my life. I would think I needed it, and then i would have a good day and think, naw..i will wait. And to be honest, a part of me thinks that because i am married to drew and he has a counseling degree that he could help me. And when we first got married, he did. and honestly, he still helps a lot, but I just decided i needed to go. In a way, I want to experience what i tell so many people to do.

I have been fearful because my first experience was not so good. I decided a month after my parents died that i should talk to someone. so i went to the counseling center at CMU and they gave me a man to talk to. He asked me why i was there and i told him and he started crying because a few days earlier he had lost his father. So he was crying and i was like, "ok..uh..now what do i do?" so i left and never went back again.

So, here I am. Her name is Marcia Lama, and she reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire, well, actually, she reminds me of my friend's therapist. She is older, with the soothing office, werthers on the coffee table, pictures of soft flowers, and the couch. She met me at the window where I signed in and handed me 10 pages of things to fill out. so i began to write my lifes story and didn't finish until i was sitting in her office and she was helping me. I answered questions like what are the names of my parents, do I or have i ever done drugs, how often, what kind, am i addicted, is anyone in my family addicted, abused, etc. What are my health issues, headaches, and what are my hobbies. After filling out the forms, she went through and asked me why i answered things the way i answered them. Basically, i was just telling her about my life. I explained why my life is stressful, or why i feel sad at times, or feel anxious etc.

I liked her. It was really a get to know you session, and i go back to meet again on Monday. I am excited about it actually. I am anxious to hear what she has to say to me. I am hoping she will give me things to work on, homework, and she will teach me to be a better person. I am just so thankful for God directing me to the right person. I hope it continues to feel that way. But mostly i just think it is cool that i can now say, "Well, my therapist says..."