Positive about being Negative

Not Pregnant.

That's the bottom line.  I took a home test on Wednesday and although I hadn't started my period I had a feeling that meant we were not pregnant for sure.  I hadn't started by Friday so I took another test and it was still negative.  So I had a pretty good idea that we were not pregnant.  I had my blood test today and just got word that indeed, we are not pregnant this month.

I'm sad, but I get it.  I know nothing is easy. I know sometimes things work for you and sometimes they don't.  I know there's not a magical calculation filled with pineapple and prophecy to make every effort a success.  I know that God is good.  I know that He doesn't always give me what I want.  He doesn't always give me what I deserve (thank God!).  He always allows what is right.  I've written plenty of these emails expressing God's goodness in times of "trial" or mis-understanding.  But to me, even though the bottom line is not pregnant this time, the real bottom line is that God is always Right.  God makes the BEST stories, and although this one seems to have taken a strange turn, I know God.  He's not done, and I trust that He knows what He's doing.

I'm so thankful and truly blessed to know all of you out there are praying for us and our family.  I really do believe God has more children for us and I also believe I couldn't do this without all the prayers.  This world of infertility is insane.  The heart for children that God put inside of me seems desperate at times.  But I know if it's meant to be, then He will make it be.

We are planning on doing another cycle.  (Remember how I said it was insane? yes. )  What that means is as soon as my period starts, which should be any day now, we will go back on medication and start the process all over again.  Please pray that God will once again show favor on us.

We are off to worship tonight.  It will feel good to just sit and be in God's presence and be reminded of how good He is and be reminded of His good works.

We love you!

-kat