Milk + Nerves = bad

It's been a pretty good day today.  I've been waiting to hear about my car (did I mention we bought a used car about a month ago and it blew a head gasket the next day?) but still no word.  It is getting fixed and by God's Goodness the salesman is helping us out.  BUT- that means we wait and wait.  Eventually we will have that car.  It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.  I had cream with coffee this morning. And with my breakfast.  And with my dinner. And with my nightly coffee to help me get through children's musical rehearsal. I learned too much creamer is a very bad thing. Needless to say, Drew had to run most of the rehearsal tonight while I was in the restroom not resting. So thankful for Drew!
I just feel nervous.

#1 Rule for fertility treatments: Don't stress about anything.

I'm glad we picked December for this once in a lifetime treatment. But again, why not?  Perfect Love casts out all fear...and nerves.  :)  Just trying to focus on Jesus cuz I need a bit more of him.  So much more.

Today was a pretty good day. Took my last pill so I'm assuming my period will start by Friday at the latest. I got a call from our specialty pharmacy that our card was denied.  Had a small heart attack and then called to find out we just needed to raise our security limit.  A few more phone calls and all is well.  It will ship out in the morning. Meds, needles and such.  Yes needles, lots of them.  And a special cool box to put them in when I'm done. That's right, I'm cool.

My nephew Jonathan had to take growth hormone shots EVERY day for most of his life.  I keep reminding myself of that.  I can't be a wimp in front of him.  That would be SO embarrassing.  ;) I'm not really afraid of the shots though.  I can't really pin point where the nerves are coming from.  I'm embracing the process and actually finding it fascinating.  I think I do have fear that we will do the meds wrong.  But we are praying all good things over the meds.  God is good.

I talked to my boss today about the time I might need off for appts and the retrieval etc. She told me no worries and home life comes first.  I thought that was nice.  She then reminded me about a professor that just found out her daughter-in-law is having triplets.  They did IVF and had 3 embryo's placed. When they heard the heart beat the first time, they only heard 2.  The second visit they heard 3. I can't even imagine that in my wildest dreams.

I've never been to Alaska.  My sweet mother-in-law has and every time she talks about it I wonder what it would be like to experience that.  I can only imagine what it's like from movies and books. I can't actually place myself there and feel how cold it is or hear the ice fall into the water.  Being pregnant is kinda like that.  If you've never been, you can only imagine what you've seen other people go through.  You can't imagine looking down and seeing that plus sign, or having a baby bump, or going to THAT side of the store (the one I avoid) to look for clothes that fit or to actually FEEL something inside of you.  What a mystery. I'm ok with not ever feeling those things, but it's in this type of situation that you try. You try to imagine something you've never experienced. It's pretty much impossible. It's just a story you think is impossible.  But that's just it, it's not impossible.

I told a friend tonight that I just learned that Hope is believing in something where there is a possibility. Wishing is dreaming of the impossible. With God all things are possible, so we Hope. Seriously people, He raises the dead...like..for real! This isn't impossible for Him. So, we continue to Hope knowing there is a cracked door still open and I can almost see the promises on the other side.

Tomorrows goal? Refer back to #1 above.