Praying for December Miracles

OK ~ December…ready or not, here we come!  I'm ready though. I'm scared, but ready. 

The Short (drew's 'get to the point') Version: 

Drew and I have been saving all year to try one more fertility procedure. It's a doozy, but we feel we must rule out every option as we continue in our journey to our family.  In 2 days we will start our walk towards In vitro fertilization.  We are asking for prayers for December as we push through this process. The process starts in the later part of this week and we will know if it works by the end of December. Please pray this treatment is successful!  We are believing God for a miracle or 2 or 3 but no more than that, cuz that's just crazy  ;)  .  Thank you!

The Longer (kat tells every detail) Version: 

For those of you who are interested in what In vitro fertilization is exactly, I will describe it towards the end of this post.  But the bottom line is we are going to a specialist to remove a few of my eggs so they can be fertilized in a lab with Drew's sperm.  They rest and grow in the lab for a few days and become embryos.  Once they are ready, they will be put back in me and we pray for God's creating miracle to begin.  We will know if it worked by the end of December.  In the fertility world, this is the big one.  I remember reading about this in some chat rooms years ago when we first started our journey towards children and I couldn't imagine doing this test.  But God has a way of changing your heart, and maturing you as He leads you on different paths. I spoke to a girl tonight who recently found out they didn't have high chances of conceiving.  She said by the end of the conversation she felt inspired. We just talked about the many ways for God to bring us children. I sat and looked at my stone that says HOPE and my statue of the little boy with the HOPE balloon and I swallow hard as I know her journey is just beginning.  I hope their road to family is shorter than mine has been. I hope my road ends soon too.

I've been doing pretty good emotionally.  I am walking the delicate balance of one foot in, one foot out.  I can't be all in because if this treatment doesn't work and I'm all in, it will be devastating. I've been down that road too many times. I need to just trust God to know what's best. But it's hard. 

Today was baby dedication at church.  Sometimes I can't go, today it seemed ok.  It just so happened that the 2 families that were dedicating their kids were a couple with the last name of Cotter (not related to me btw) and a couple with the last name of Smith (also, not related to drew).  So the whole time Pastor Richard was saying stuff like "As we dedicate the Cotter-Smith babies ....." etc. I kept looking at Drew and laughing.  What are the chances, for real.  Sometimes I don't know what God is trying to say! Maybe it is a good sign.  

My sister has told me countless times (Laura has too), "Just take one step, then take the next step…" This is how battles are won.  One day at a time.  One step. One decision. One breath.  Breathe in deep….breathe out.  Yes, 3 times. (Great advice from Jenny) This changes my atmosphere, my thinking.  More good advice from Ryan today, "This week take a bath in your mind".  I will be thinking about that one for sure.  

So I'm going to try to blog every day.  I know most of you may not be interested.  That's ok. I know how that goes, we are all busy and have lots to do. So I will try to put a short (drew version) update on top and a "kat" long winded version on the bottom. This week we will be waiting.  I've been on the pill for a month (which is HILARIOUS!) so the doctors can control when I ovulate.  This process is an extremely timed out event. I will be checking my list and calendar daily, maybe hourly, to make sure I'm doing everything right. 

My week: 

Monday: Order expensive fertility drugs (no going back after this!)

Tuesday: Take my last pill

Wednesday: wait. 

Thursday: Possibly start my period or more waiting. 

Friday: Start my period for sure, and make appointment for ultrasound with doctors. If everything looks good…

Saturday: start 2 shots a day.  God help us. And by "us" I mean me.  But kinda drew too since he will be giving the shots to me. 

Let the fertility fun begin! Thank you for your love & prayers!

Explanation of In vitro fertilization for those who want to know: 

Wikipedia says: 

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a process by which an egg is fertilized by sperm outside the body: in vitro. IVF is a major treatment for infertility when other methods of assisted reproductive technology have failed. The process involves monitoring a woman's ovulatory process, removing ovum or ova (egg or eggs) from the woman's ovaries and letting sperm fertilize them in a fluid medium in a laboratory. When a woman's natural cycle is monitored to collect a naturally selected ovum (egg) for fertilization, it is known as natural cycle IVF. The fertilized egg (zygote) is then transferred to the patient's uterus with the intention of establishing a successful pregnancy.

But I must say, it's way more amazing then this definition.  Until I watched a few videos, I really didn't understand how incredible this procedure is. I was going to post a few tonight, but the internet is acting crazy.  I will try to post tomorrow.  Until then, thank you for praying and walking with us on this journey!