Life - always mixed with joy, sadness and hope.

This has been a strange week.

It began on Easter. What an amazing time I had having family over.  Kari and family plus Lou and Dick came over to spend Easter with us.  We were so blessed by our neighbor Molly who let us use her apartment so everyone would have a bed.  Being with all of that family was so wonderful for my heart.   I am so blessed by people who love me, but it's so good to see family that I don't get to see very often. If only my brothers could have joined us, maybe next year. :)   We went for a long walk on Friday (my idea) to feed the ducks.  I thought it would be good to get out, and it was.  However, I didn't think about how the 1.5 miles might feel on my body.  I got a bit nervous on the way back as I was getting very tired, but I took the rest of the night easy and I was fine. The rest of the weekend we spent time just having fun and laughing.  It was so great.

Easter Sunday was met with finding baskets of candy and a sermon by one of my hero's Pastor Richard that talked about how Jesus is the only way and we shouldn't be afraid to say it.  Culture seems to take over our minds at times and we begin to believe in our hearts things that we are reasoning out. But truth is truth, always. It was a good reminder.

Our friends had a baby Easter Sunday as well!  They all were doing well although the baby was born a month early.  He had to stay at the hospital for the week, but he's doing better now and hopes to go home soon!

Monday came and I discovered a co-worker lost her mother on Easter Sunday.  When we went to the viewing she described how wonderful it was that her mother died on Easter.  She said it was the best way to celebrate her 96 year old mothers life and she deserved to go home on that special day.  It was sad to know her mother was now gone from earth, but it was a perfect departing.

I also found out Monday that a friend of mine who was going through fertility treatments like we did, did not have a positive result.  I was stunned.  So many were praying for her and I really felt like it was going to work.  There are no words to describe how I felt about that news.  Knowing that disappointment of wanting and thinking that this is it...when it ends up not being it.  I lived that for many years.  And as another friend told me once, 'Just because I'm pregnant now doesn't take away those deep feelings that I felt just a few months ago'.  That statement is so true.  I felt guilty that the treatment worked for us and not for them, but I also remembered that everyones story is different and this is my story, that is her story - AND that God isn't done with either of our stories yet.  That BOTH stories should and will be filled with hope and blessing and the goodness of God.  To be in His will is the best place to be.  Even if it feels like hell for awhile.  We will stand in the midst of fire, but not get burned.  If we stay close to him.  One of my favorite songs that I listened to all of December..Alright (click to hear).

So as I held the tiniest hand of a newborn in an incubator I thought of the sadness that also surrounded others in my life this week, and I was thankful for life.  I was thankful that there is still hope that things don't end with sadness or death.  New life comes. Life continues.  Life takes over.  Life brings laughter and joy, in the morning.  There is hope because there's always a tomorrow. God is good. And that little baby hand was precious.

As I held that little hand I kept looking at him and thinking, "Oh my word...this is inside of me..growing".  I can't explain how strange that is.  I've felt little movements this week almost everyday. I'm SO thankful! I was crying to drew and saying that I couldn't feel anything and then as I'm saying it, I DID feel something.  So through my tears I say, "I can't feel the baby....Oh wait..I'm feeling it now.....".  And Drew was like, "Are you serious?". Poor drew...maybe pray for him as my emotions are CRAZY!  He has been so awesome to me. He has been taking care of me so much. I'm completely blessed by him!

Speaking of Drew.... he was accepted to GRAD SCHOOL this week!!!!!!!!  He will be studying (pause while I copy and paste this degree..) M.A./Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with Emphasis in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. Doesn't that sound fun? Basically he wants to teach at the collegiate level and hopes to study more on why man believes what he believes and the core needs of man.  That's about 1/18th of what he wants to do. haha.  He could describe it WAY better than I, but all I know is I'm proud of him. He takes 2 classes at a time and has over 200 pages to read in the first week.  I'm gonna guess cartoon watching will take a backseat for awhile.  ;)  He's so excited and I love seeing him be able to start a life long dream of his.  God is starting a lot of amazing things in our lives.

SO---this week we find out BOY or GIRL! I've had several people changing their minds in the last minutes of guessing.  I will keep my guessing to myself, but I know either way this baby is created for something amazing.  Don't worry, we WILL post this week when we find out and you will be the first-ish to know. I also think we might post on facebook this week.  I'm feeling more confident about just putting it all out there.  Why not, right? We are all in this together. (Don't leave me now people, I NEED YOU!)

Ok--that's the update for now.  Hope you are all happy and blessed.