Hello Stranger

What a week.

First, I'm 21 weeks!!! More than 1/2 way done! It's hard to believe, but my body is changing so much forcing me to know that we are moving right along now! HAPPY DANCE!!!!!

Next, my disclaimer is that I am NOT complaining and I also understand that things could be MUCH worse.  But I'm realizing in any stage of life there are things that bother us and cause us frustration.  It doesn't mean you don't like the season you're in, it just means even in a good season, life still happens.

I woke up last week with a toothache.  I can't explain to you why my teeth upset me emotionally.  Maybe it's because my mother had false teeth by the time she was 30.  Or maybe it's because I don't want to have bad teeth. Maybe it's because I could brush my teeth every day and floss AND gargle with the best mouthwash and still get cavities. It's frustrating. Knowing this, last October I was determined to get my teeth checked and cleaned before we did treatments.  I had a bad couple teeth in the back and I had to have a root canal. It wasn't bad.  But then a month later it started to hurt again. So he did a "re-treatment".  This one hurt very bad. THEN in December it started hurting ... AGAIN! I was super frustrated and it was right before treatment. They took an x-ray and found nothing wrong with it.  So they gave me antibiotics and hoped for the best.  Everything seemed fine until last week.  It started hurting, again. Perfect timing because now I'm pregnant and what am I to do? I know, get a new dentist. Which I did.

The new dentist is awesome. Like, really awesome. His staff from the first hello were so kind and helpful.  They made me feel like I'd been a patient for years. I went to see him and he looked at the tooth and said we had to take an x-ray of it to really know what is going on.  They covered me with those heavy shield things and took it. Then he got really silent.  After 30 seconds of looking at the x-ray, then looking at the nurse, then looking at me and back at the x-ray, he told me the tooth needs to come out.

I think a part of me feels like I'm going to end up like mom with no teeth.  I know lots of people who have had teeth removed.  It's not that uncommon.

not my mom-haha

But I just keep picturing myself with one tooth falling out at a time until I am that old lady at the nursing home who lost her dentures and just says, 'who cares' and lives without teeth.  ugh.  I don't want to be known as the toothless grandma.  I don't know what my problem is! My mom had false teeth and she was awesome! Maybe she scarred me because we would beg her to take them out (which she hardly ever did) and show us.  She would do it and we would scream and then she would laugh and we would too.  But maybe deep down I didn't think it was that funny.  I don't know.  But the truth is, it's not just about me now.  It's about my little boy.  And my dentist said I have a "toxic tooth" in my body and that's not good for the baby either.  sigh....so, out it must come. He said we will get a bridge or do something after the baby is born, but until then we just need to get my mouth healthy.

On a brighter note, the lady who cleaned my teeth told me 3 times that I do a good job with 'home care' and my teeth looked really good. 5 gold stars for my efforts, but sometimes even when you do all the right things you still get the tooth pulled. It's ok. It's not the end of the world.  I just get nervous.  I want the best for my baby and I feel like I let him down already.  I know I did the best I could, but life happens.  And now my goal is to stay calm and peaceful until I can get it removed.  The first available appointment they had was May 21st!!! Yes, that's a long ways away.  They put me on the cancelation list and told me to call if it got worse.  The tooth doesn't really bother me so much during the day, but at night I can't sleep well. It wakes me up throbbing. And so that coupled with me trying to get used to an oversized belly has been challenging.  If they don't call me by next week I will probably call them and see if I can get in sooner. I can't wait over a month for this procedure.  Please keep all of this in your prayers.  And that the antibiotics I have to take wont do anything crazy to the baby.  They tell me they are safe, but I'm a crazy hormonal mother now, so, yeah.

A GREAT STORY to share with you from last weekend....

Several years ago while we were trying to get pregnant, our ministry was at a youth conference and after one of the sessions I was up front praying with some of the girls.  A 13 year old girl came up to me and confessed that she had just found out she was pregnant.  She didn't know what to do.  She wasn't sure she wanted to keep the baby and was thinking about having an abortion.  I talked with her a bit and prayed with her as well as got her in touch with people from her town etc.  Then I went to the balcony and cried my eyes out. It seemed so unfair for me - woman with infertility who would do anything for a child - to be 'randomly' put with a girl who had barely started her period and was pregnant. She didn't want the baby (and rightly so, she was 13) and I did. The madness of life.  As I cried, an older woman saw me and came over to see if I was ok.  I ended up telling her my whole story and she cried with me, prayed with me and vowed to continue to pray for me.  We exchanged addresses and said good-bye.  We wrote a few times, but over the years we lost touch.

This weekend we were in Iowa.  It was a great weekend of ministry and as we finished out our final program I felt like God wanted me to share my Hope Story and then shared that I was pregnant.  I shared my testimony and talked of how God does what He says He's going to do. He is faithful. He will restore your heart and revive old dreams that are deep within us.  I shared all of that.  After the program I was standing by our table greeting people and a woman and her husband came up.  Both were crying.  It was the woman from that balcony so many years ago.  They didn't go to the church we were at, but they heard we were coming and thought we might be the same group they saw back then.  She hugged me and said she was so happy for me.  She said she never stopped praying.  Her husband was crying too.  He said I'm on her prayer list and she prays for me so often.  I couldn't believe it.  God had continued to put me on the hearts of others that I hardly knew.  He continued to bring my face to a woman who loved God and loved me.  And God heard her.  He heard all of us.  And here we are. :)

It was an amazing moment to be reunited with a prayer warrior like that. God is so good to me.  He continues to spoil me with moments of His love.  I'm so thankful.

Tooth or no tooth, God is amazing and He continues to show me how amazing and loved this little boy inside of me really is.