kaleidoscope

i love kaleidoscopes. My mother used to collect them before she pasted away. I have her collection now. She only had a few, but i love looking at them. Each one is so unique and makes its own pattern. When you turn the dial, shapes and colors collide and create new creations of beauty and my eyes never grow tired of these changes.

When i look at my own life, I wonder why it is that I hate change. Change was happening so much in my life this past year, it seemed I couldn't keep up, and I hated it. But now that changing has slowed down, I don't like where it has stopped. I am at the place in the ferris wheel where you are almost done, getting off the ride, but not quite. So you suspend in air and the view isn't that good, and you can't touch the ground yet, so you just dangle and wait. I am dangling and waiting. Holding my breath for the next change. And understanding that there are more colorful patterns to see.