that is what my page says every time i start to write. And that has never been more appropriate than today. Many times in my life i feel there are things that happen to me that i can't explain or can't set a word to, today it was the same. Now, you might read this and think i am crazy. Today alone could fill a notebook full of thoughts. But this was just one.
Ryan had taken Eden for a walk to the Ranger station to pay for another nights stay in this Georgia paradise. On the way there, they got caught in the rain. They made it to the station and got stranded for some time. The biggest thunderstorm i have ever heard rolled in. I have seen a lot of storms in my time, they seem to follow us on the road for some reason, but this one, was soul shaking. There was no missing the lightening, and one would stop talking when the thunder spoke. I was in awe. I remembered a previous blog I wrote about God giving things like this, and people not paying attention. I can't imagine not paying attention to this one, it was interruptive.
I decided to go for a walk and take an umbrella to Ryan so he could leave the Ranger station. So i headed out. I didn't get very far when i ran into Ryan and Eden. They had decided they had waited long enough and just walked back in the rain. They were soaked. But i gave them the extra umbrella and decided to keep walking. I made my way to the shelter because i must admit i was afraid of getting struck by lighting on my umbrella. (This really was stupid because it was plastic on top, but the thunder was LOUD and scary!) So as i was sitting in the little area outside the bathrooms, i noticed something. I looked closer and said out loud, "NO WAY!". It was struggling so hard to get out of the rain. A praying mantis. it was stuck up against the cement of the parking lot, and making its way towards a puddle. I kept thinking it was better off staying close to the cement, it was wet, but it wasn't a puddle. I watched it for awhile and then decided i needed to rescue it. So i walked out in the rain with my umbrella and gave it shelter..."no more rain today little guy". I offered him my shoe, hoping it was smart enough to climb aboard. By this time it had been trying to swim in the pool of water it put itself in. After 2 failed attempts, he was on my shoe. I walked back to the shelter and he climbed off my shoe. He sat there a minute making sure he wasn't in danger. I think he was stunned about being rescued. Finally he turned his head and looked at me.
I don't know if you have ever had a praying mantis look at you or not, but it was a surreal thing for me. He sat there awhile, just looking. I think he was smiling. I told him he was welcome and that he would live to see another day. I knew he was thinking this was it for him, drowning in a puddle of water. He sat there and dried himself off. His glances made me smile. His glances made me cry. There was something about him i loved. He was so unique, different than other insects. He was tall, and had big beautiful eyes. His arms were long and he used them to walk meticulously. He not only walked, but had long wings hidden on his back. He could at any moment of danger, fly. Yet he remained, looking at me, from time to time. He was delicate, gentle. I was in love.
He started walking towards the doorway and i thought, "No! Don't go out there! I just saved you from that." but i watched as he walked over to the door frame and then turned and started crawling up it. Awesome. He was moving to higher ground.
As he walked he would stop and then look at me. With every look, i wished he was closer to me. I liked seeing him inches from me. I could see clearly his eyes and little tiny hands. He was awesome. He didn't owe it to me though. I mean, i know I saved his life, but that doesn't mean I get to put him in a jar and keep him. I want him to live FREE in this lush forest. He didn't have to do anything, I just wanted to watch him. i was in awe of him, and longed for him to be closer to me. I wondered where he lived and what he ate when he got hungry. When does he sleep? Who does he hang out with? Does he have other praying mantis friends? As i pondered these questions, and watched him, he did something horrible. He left my sight.
He took one last look at me and turned to the outside of the wall. I wanted to cry. No longer could i see him from afar, now i couldn't see him at all. That is when it hit me. The creator sees me. All that love, and more. I am the praying mantis.
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