Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Get Wisdom. Get Understanding.

Get--as a possession not to be given up.
neither decline--that is, from obeying my word.

Get wisdom, take pains for it. take more pains to get this than the wealth of this world.


When I was in high school we had to take a foreign language. Our school only offered Spanish and French although now I know most schools offer many other languages as well. I always thought French was cool, you know, for lovers and such. So off I went taking 3 years of French classes and I studied and did well enough for a B. Not a high B though because I was always scared to speak the language. The problem was I studied my book and vocab words, but I didn't have any experience speaking it. Most of the students would practice with one another, or just remember, but I never did. By my third year we weren't allowed to speak English at all in class and I remembered feeling SO freaked out. I think I actually dropped the class eventually. Most of the other students who stayed, actually went on to go to France and use what they had learned. I wish I would have, but I didn't understand the language. When they got back, they were all talking about how great it was. They went to France, I didn't. They experienced something and unless I on my own make an effort to go there as well, I will never understand.

I realized yesterday that for years I have been praying for God's wisdom and understanding. But I think I thought they would come in a pretty book signed by a famous Christian author purchased at a safe Christian bookstore while MWS played in the background. I had no idea that sometimes understanding is experience. Have you ever had to explain something and people wouldn't believe you until they saw it themselves? Then when they did see it, the response was, "OH, now I understand!". That is how God is giving me the gift of wisdom and understanding. I thought it would be easy and fun like college, finding a new concept about God and loving Him more, but God's relationships grow deeper and with more passion every year and some things you can get from a book.

I asked God to give me understanding, and He he replies with a resounding,"Yes!", but what I didn't know is to get this godly understanding I must walk through the field of experience and be subject to even the most brutal of machines to reshape who I am, what I am becoming and the way I see and do life. Because once my heart has felt and my world has encountered this understanding, and if I keep walking through it, I can't ever be the same. I am rethinking how much understanding and wisdom I actually would like to have. I am not sure how many more experiences I can take in life, but it is the experiences, the understanding, that reminds us that we are alive.

Live with the lost & searching,
talk to the forgotten,
listen to the confused,
have dinner with the lonely,
look at the over looked,
cry with the broken hearted,
hold hands with the "children" who were abused,
feel the warm tears that fall from the eyes of the unwanted and the disfigured


ce sont les manières de l'arrangement

---these are the ways of understanding

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

i am tired.

my soul is tired.

my body is tired.

my spirit is tired.










may He fill me up....